Metahuman Nature
by its-CM10
Summary: Soulmates exist, and as soon as you see their face it feels like you can never be apart from them. But love is messy, and sometimes the one you're meant for isn't the one you can be with. Barry Allen thought it would all work out, until he saw his face and felt it like a blow to the chest.
1. Chapter 1

Finally Barry understood. He understood why Iris never seemed to feel the same, why she was with Eddie and not him. She wasn't his soul mate.

This criminal was.

As soon as he saw his face, Barry knew. He thought that feeling in his gut that he got whenever he saw Iris was bad, but this was something else. A pinprick to a stab wound. He'd almost tripped over his own feet when he first saw his face, and it was only his own momentum that had kept him going. What was he supposed to do here? Send the guy to prison and be there in 25 years when he was finally released? Join him in a life of crime? Let him go and live the rest of his life having clandestine meetings with a criminal and a murderer?

Or just ignore it? He was the Flash, he couldn't… he couldn't love a criminal. It had to be a mistake. Could people have more than one soulmate? Was that even what this was? He tried to convince himself otherwise, but the feeling was unmistakable. All the love songs and rom-coms had gotten it right. He was drawn to him like a magnet. Even now, he just wanted to run back there.

Barry crouched down in an alley a block away, panicking. Caitlin and Cisco were in his ear asking what was wrong but he couldn't bring himself to answer, shutting off the comm link. This was… It couldn't be right. No matter how much the universe wanted to shit on him, he could not accept that he would fall for a girl destined to be with someone else only to become soulmates with someone he could never be with.

Hm, maybe he should call Felicity. They were both fated to be alone, it seemed. But could they live like that, staying together when they both knew the other had a soulmate out there somewhere? Surely, surely some people must live happily with people who aren't their soul mates. The ones that never meet, the ones that die. Before he'd experienced this feeling Barry would've happily spent his life with Iris, soulmate or not.

Barry walked home, no doubt attracting strange looks as he walked past countless people still in costume. They probably figured a convention was in town. He could have run, but he just wanted to think. The comm kept bussing in his ear as Caitlin and Cisco tried to restart the connection, but he kept shutting it down. Let them think whatever they wanted to, he couldn't talk to them right now. Not when he'd failed as a hero so early in his career. What would Oliver think if he could see him now?

When he was only a few miles from his house he sped the rest of the way. He was about to break down, and a crying guy in a red skin-tight leather costume would attract far more attention than he wanted right now. He was in his house and halfway up to his room when he spotted Felicity perched on the couch. He stopped in front of the stairs, why on earth was she here?

"Felicity?"

"Barry? Thank god!" She jumped up, running round the couch to hug him. "I went to check on you at the precinct but you weren't there, this guy Joe told me to come here. I was going to call but you left your phone…" She hit him on the arm, a playful swat on the arm that was probably harder than she intended. "Don't do that to me, Barry Allen!"

"Ow! Felicity, I'm sorry! I-" He stopped, because right in front of him was the one person he knew who might possibly understand. It was clear to everyone that she and Oliver were soulmates, and it was just as obvious that whilst he was the Arrow they could never be together. He pulled back his mask and held his head in his hands. "It happened."

Her face immediately softened. There was only one thing 'it happened' could mean. "Who? How?" She asked, trying to look into his eyes even as he bowed his head.

He opened his mouth to speak, but instead a sob tore its way out of his chest.

She pulled him into an embrace, holding him in her arms as he fought back the tears in his eyes. "It was someone you can't be with, wasn't it?"

He mumbled a sound of affirmation against her shoulder. "It'll works itself out," she said, "these things always do."

Barry pulled away from her slightly. "You really believe that?"

She nodded. "I have to."

It was at that moment his phone rang. Felicity must have brought his stuff back from the lab. She turned to look at it. "It's Joe. He keeps calling, and he asked me to tell you that there was a crime scene to attend."

He sighed, speeding over to his phone and into his normal clothes. "No point avoiding it I guess." He picked up the phone and answered Joe's call.

"Barry! Where've you been? I been calling you."

"Yeah, sorry, Joe. Had some business to attend to."

He heard Joe snort on the other end of the line. "Bet you did. Anyway, come on down to the precinct. We need to catch this guy." He paused for a moment. "Unless that's what you were doing. Is that what you were doing?"

Barry sighed. "No, but…"

"But what?"

"I saw his face, Joe." He looked at Felicity sadly. "I can ID him."

Felicity seemed to deflate at his words, and Barry felt exactly the same. But there was no choice here. He had to do what was right. Make Oliver proud, make Harrison Wells and the team proud, his dad. His mom. He had to be a hero. Had to do what was right.


	2. Chapter 2

Barry had identified the criminal at the CCPD and had hoped that would be the end of it, but he should have known he wouldn't be so lucky.

He'd tried to distract himself with Felicity, showing her his speed and taking her to STAR labs. At Iris's insistence he even took her to trivia night. And he tried, he tried to see her the way Iris wanted him to. It was almost working when Eddie's phone rang.

They'd found him. Barry didn't want to go, but he knew he had to. He rushed out after Eddie, asking Felicity to make up an excuse, and ran. He should've known he wouldn't be able to hide from this. Now that they'd met the universe was just going to keep throwing them together until one of them was dead.

Barry was at the theatre in a flash. He couldn't delay, people were in danger. And something was pulling him back to Leonard Snart.

He arrived just in time to push Joe out of the way of some kind of Ice Ray but took the full force of it on his side. It knocked him back, burning him, and he could hardly breathe. It almost hurt as much as the first time he saw his face.

He steeled himself, and turned to face the man he was destined to be with. He was wearing these ridiculous goggles, but Barry recognised him instantly. It was a face he would never be able to forget. He just wanted to go up to him, take off his mask, reveal himself, and throw away the gun.

Leonard Snart had other plans. He trained the gun on Barry and fired without hesitation.

"Time for a test run!" He declared. "Let's see how fast you are." He sounded like a damned fool, but Barry didn't have time to concentrate on that right now. Leonard was firing at anyone he could see, and Barry was barely able to move them in time.

They both saw the guard at the same time. Snart was between them and he fired immediately. Barry raced against the stream of cold, but he was still injured and he was too late. He wasn't fast enough. He cried out as he saw the man fall before him, frozen stiff, and all but collapsed. He was dead. Murdered. Murdered by the man Barry was supposed to love. There was no reason for it, it was just wrong.

By the time he turned around, Leonard Snart was already gone.

Barry lived his life in a haze. Felicity was the only one who had had any idea, and she'd had to return to Starling. He was completely alone. Months passed as he tried to puzzle out why everything had gone so wrong so fast, and he carried his grief and confusion like a weight on his back, pushing between his shoulder blades. He felt like any second it would all become too much and he might just collapse.

He soldiered on, trying to hide this cloud perpetually over his head. Tried to convince himself he could still love Iris, love anyone else. Tried to forget that murderer's face, the face of the man he had killed.

They had had another confrontation before Snart left the city. The man would've happily killed everyone on the train just to make his own escape. That had been one of the most painful nights of his life. Burying his emotions down so deep that nobody would ever be able to tell, staring past the barrel of a gun into the face of the man he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with, and then having to watch him walk away.

He'd turned up again a few weeks later. Barry tried to avoid him but he'd just kidnapped Caitlin to force him to show. He could have cried when he heard that he was being transferred to Iron Heights. He did cry when he found out he'd escaped from the transport.

After that Barry had tried dating, anything to get the man out of his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about him, and he hated himself for it. He hated Leonard Snart even as he fell in love with him. Every night he would try to recall the face of the man who he hadn't saved, but he would always fall asleep with the murderer's face before his eyes. He would try to remember all Leonard's crimes, but instead he would remember his confidence. The way he talked, walked, the way he carried himself.

And then, after time turned back, Leonard Snart had showed up again. He'd taken Cisco, he'd hurt him. And he knew Barry's name. So now? Now it was unavoidable. Wells was right, he prevented one disaster only to cause another.

It didn't take them long to find him and his Rogues. It took less than a second for Barry to grab him from his bike and pull him into a nearby forest.

Heart thumping in his chest, Barry pulled back his mask, turning off the comm as he did so. This was private, personal. Whatever went down here, he didn't want an audience.


	3. Chapter 3

Leonard felt like he'd been punched in the gut as soon as he saw the Flash, no, Barry Allen, take off his mask. He didn't know how to react, but then Barry was talking. About their working relationship. Leonard was stunned, was the guy really just going to ignore what they had obviously both realised by now? Then it dawned on Leonard - he must have known for months. He'd known and made the decision to hide this shameful little secret deep down where it would never see the light.

It fucking hurt. But no way was Leonard going to beg for forgiveness or affection. So he just played along, battling the torrent of emotions swirling inside him.

When Barry sped away he lasted all of five seconds before he sank to the floor. He rested on his knees, staring at nothing. He'd never felt anything like this before. Never thought he would. Some people never found their soulmates, and Leonard had accepted he was one of those people a long time ago. He didn't even think he'd had one, or if he ever did they would have already died after a life of crime.

But now he was doomed to fall in love with someone who would never be able to accept him. He'd tried to kill him, he'd killed people in front of him, kidnapped and tortured his friends… A man as good as Barry Allen would never let himself love someone like Leonard Snart. Leonard would never be able to make himself worthy of his love. He'd known he was worthless since childhood.

Sometimes… Sometimes he'd imagined. That one day he would see a face on the street that he would never forget. That he'd go over, introduce himself under some fake name, and let himself leave this life and fall in love with his perfect man. He would give it all up. The heists, the violence, the greed. And he would be happy.

But now it was too late. God, it was too late. He'd already fucked this up beyond repair.

He groaned, lifting himself and his gear and forcing himself to start the long walk back to town. He had no idea how far away he was, all he knew was the direction he'd seen the Flash run off in. His soulmate, gone in the blink of an eye.

He fired his Cold Gun at a nearby tree, freezing the trunk. This damn gun. This damn persona. Captain Cold, nemesis of the Flash. He should've known it would screw him over eventually. But not like this.

Barry Allen had known all along, and he'd already made the call. Was he really just supposed to ignore this? Leonard knew how it worked, the universe would always lead them together. The compulsion was undeniable. How many times would he have to see him and fall just a little bit further and a little bit harder?

He shouldn't even have been surprised. Everything in his life went wrong, no surprise that the one thing that was supposed to be unequivocally wonderful was already fucked up.

No, it wasn't just fucked up. He had fucked it up. The first time they'd ever crossed paths he was committing a crime. Just his luck to fall for a hero. And he really was falling for him. He'd felt that pull ever since a streak of red passed his vision. He'd tried to pretend it was hate, competition, but he should have known it was destiny. That his grudging admiration was more than just that.

When he'd seen his face, just for one second, it had all fallen in to place. And then it had all fallen apart.

Barry fell to his knees in his bedroom the second he dropped out of his speed, staring at the floor. It was done, it was decided. He hadn't expected Leonard to be so unconcerned. It was what he wanted, of course it was what he'd wanted, but it didn't make him feel any better.

He was doomed to fall in love with someone he could never be with. A criminal. He should've known he didn't deserve someone like Iris. Like Felicity - he was no Oliver. He was no hero.

Barry sobbed, tears falling. People wrote tragedies about soulmates unable to be together, is that what his life was going to be? Falling in love even further every time he saw his face? Unable to escape? He'd never thought it would be like this.

He pressed his fists to his eyes, trying to burn the image out of his mind. What was he doing right now? Was he laughing with his sister about how the universe thought they were meant to be together? Or was he as destroyed as Barry was?

Barry couldn't imagine it would be the latter. He couldn't imagine anything from Leonard that wasn't Captain Cold. He'd tried, on those nights where he couldn't fight any more and just pictured what their life together could have been. Even then, in his moments of weakness, it was something unattainable.

How could to people chosen to be together by destiny be so incompatible? They were supposed to be perfect for each other.

Maybe… maybe Wells had changed his destiny. Maybe he had always been fated to become a criminal, right up until his mother was murdered and time was irrevocably altered. The thought wasn't any more comforting than the idea that the universe had just cocked up.

He had no-one. He couldn't confess to the STAR team this… this. He couldn't confess to Iris without telling her he was the Flash. He almost called Felicity, but even she wouldn't understand this. The only person who ever would was the problem.

Barry almost ran out to find him again. To apologise and spill open his heart, releasing all these secrets that were curled up like vipers in his chest.

But he couldn't go to him. He couldn't run to Leonard Snart. Not… Leonard.


End file.
